An Obligatory "Founder Mode" post

I’m not going to do deep analysis of Founder Mode, but as a female neurodivergent 5x mother bootstrapped founder, my instant reaction was…no shit.

I get Paul Graham is talking from the perspective of small companies turning into big companies. But, also what happens at small scale tends to replicate at big scale. (IMHO!)

It’s made me reflect on my own experience of being a founder, not one of a large company (yet!), but I’ve bootstrapped and run a respectable software testing community, in a world dominated by tech bros. We have 10 employees and mostly I’m happy we’ve survived the past few years!

Founders do things differently. Our lives and minds are often consumed with all the things. Our depth of understanding and care is unlikely to match anyone else. I’ve only recently come to understand this properly through my own experiences.

Managers come in and generally destroy things[1] through arrogance, lack of care and understanding. Managers lack creativity. Don’t take the risks. And typically care about the more transactional things and their own career growth.

I’ve consumed a lot of business advice over the years. Along the way, I’ve felt obliged to spend time and take on support that was actually not helpful and often quite distracting and damaging. Decisions made in these instances are what bring companies down. I’ve been both lucky and unlucky in my business decisions. It’s so easy to say in hindsight.

The highs and lows. The going through thick and thin. The (un)lucky-ness of business brings something different to founders. Perhaps it is resilience. Or confidence. Or practising giving genuine care to the people around me. Over the years I’ve gained more confidence.[2] This means doing ditching what others preach and learning through trial and error.

This is the Founder Mode way, I suppose.

These days, I’m still full of self-doubt. I’m still constantly wondering wtf I’m doing. But I also paradoxically feel so confident in what I’m doing. There is no one else who has put constant thought into finding ways through our business challenges. There’s no one else who should have my role. There is no one else who cares as much as I do, there is no one else who holds the same reputation and legal obligations as I do. There is no one else who has cried the tears.

In one sense, I’m stuck with it (I can’t quit like employees can) and that feels incredibly suffocating.

In another sense, I am blessed to be in this position and feel liberated.

This is the Founder Mode way, I suppose.

It’s hard to have that constant mental challenge. I love it, but the stress can be huge too. No one sees what you can see. It can feel like the world on your shoulders.

This has to play into how we lead, for better or worse. This is part of Founder Mode, which leads to the decisions that we make. Many will not understand, but that’s because they’re not founders.

This is the Founder Mode way, I suppose.

I’ve learned some lessons over the years. And honestly, whilst I’ve never gotten to large scale, heck, I had to Google what “skip-level meetings” were. I can summarise my experience, which is valid experience, as Founder Mode does not feel like rocket science. It feels like obsessing, caring, looking for connections and pathways, being a seeker of knowledge, finding resilience.

This world that I currently operate in feels normal to me, but it’s only when I look elsewhere that I realise that the world has placed a whole bunch of barriers in front of me.

Whilst I ain’t no AirBNB, I am the founder and CEO of a THE leading software testing community. Yet, we’re still small with 10 employees. I’ve done that with all the odds of neurodivergence, being 100% bootstrapped, being a woman, birthing five neurodivergent children and choosing to home educate in the process.

I still struggle to put the positivity of my work into words. It never feels like enough in comparison to the bigger world out there. I don’t want to be told my work is good, I want to prove my work is great by building something that works. Something that others can be inspired from, from both a human and business perspective.

I’m still really great at talking down my accomplishments, work and impact that I’ve had. I’m never enough. My work is never enough. Maybe this is part of founder mode. Maybe this is what helps us strive to do better, or do different.

Some “Founder Mode” thoughts:

• starting something and making it work should come with more respect
• other people overestimate their capability, particularly white male patriarchy (sorry), believe their impact and capability are more than they truly are.
• external advice is mostly unhelpful, often hugely dangerous and damaging
• hiring the best is over-rated, instead hire those that are underlooked or care for what you are striving for
• the best decisions are made by those who care and have spent time grafting and understanding how everything interacts (typically founders!)
• founders are hounded: once you start to “make it”, people come after you and want a part of your success. It becomes hard to know who to trust. As a result, founder self-doubt creeps up in so many places
• founders have the most to lose and usually only have one or two shots at creating a successful business, of course our decisions will be impacted by this.
• founders get a kick out of experimenting with the product, the company and how to lead. We find what works and run with it.
• finding the ability to push forward in all the ways that most will say are simply not possible.
• having a focus and being able to connect the dots and imagine a different future
• innovating doing things creatively and differently, the status quo is not us
• paying attention to the actual needs of the people (employees, customers, and everyone in between).
• accepting there is no formula, unless grit, focus and creativity is classed as one

The reality is that the world is pitched to us in a binary way. In this instance it is saying there is Founder or Manager mode. The reality is that the only formula is your way. The world is changing. Rapidly. Urgently. New change-focused models are the only way forward.

Founder Mode means giving it your own name. It does not exist. It is your ambition, your culture and grit that does the perceived impossible of creating something out of nothing whilst all the odds are working against you.

As I was writing this Ricardo Semler came to mind, a great example of someone who has done things differently.

🐌

[1] Of course not all managers, the probability is high, and it is my experience too.

[2] For me confidence has come from being broken and full of self doubt and finding my way through life challenges.