Competition isn't for everyone

There's a pattern with some of my kids.

Patterns are interesting, We should observe and pay attention to them. What is something that keeps reoccurring, and why? And then what can we do to make it work in a way that we feel is good, or better.

One of my kids happily play sports. He shows up to football twice a week. Enjoys basketball. And more recently has been going to badmintion sessions.

It was decided he had advanced enough in badminton to move up to an advanced session. The session was twice as long, was much more serious and included studying/writing of goals.

He hated and rejected it. He freaked and stressed out. Thankfully we managed to move him back to his other sessions.

I've seen this pattern happen time and time again. When there is too much demand, too much structure, and too much pointless work the kids end up hating it.

The stress builds up. The resentment. And eventually they end up quitting and hating what they once originally loved.

We've experienced this in casual classes like badminton. A football club (omg, this gets so obsessive). GCSEs and more.

My kids don't have a problem diving deep into things they are interested. They have problems doing it the way society expects.

Adults and society place such importance on achievement on what that looks like that we forget that perhaps we end up excluding people. Not because they aren't capable, but because we refuse to chill out and learn with joy in mind.

Imagine how many more people would play football if there were more friendly sessions? Imagine how many people would study art or history or science or whatever at school if we weren't forced to work through so many boring and pointless hoops.

Imagine.